Shock
I just received an extremely sad email from the Girl's school district superintendent. It shared the news of a boy who was at Run Club today after school who started to cough, then collapsed. He was transported to the hospital. He passed away.
Then I read it again. The school was my daughter's school. The grade was my daughter's grade. The activity was my daughter's activity today after school too.
I hesitated for a minute, then decided to ask her if anything happened at Run Club today. She asked me how I knew. I explained the source of my information, and shared with her what happened in the gentlest way possible.
Then she told me something more-
"I was with him, Mom. I was there when he started to cough. Other kids thought he was faking, but then one of my friends ran and got the coach while I stayed with him."
She didn't know what happened after that, which I'll credit the coaches for.
He was in her class this year. He was in her class last year. My heart aches for his parents- for his little brother. Their shock must be 10,000 x the shock that we felt.
"I didn't think that kids could die like that," she said.
"Kids shouldn't die like that." I said.
Suddenly not understanding why she didn't finish her math homework afterwards seems enormously petty (she hadn't said a word). They will have folks in her classroom to talk to her on Monday. I'm glad of that.
If anyone has suggestions for dealing with a young death for kids, I'd appreciate hearing about it.
Hug your children-
Then I read it again. The school was my daughter's school. The grade was my daughter's grade. The activity was my daughter's activity today after school too.
I hesitated for a minute, then decided to ask her if anything happened at Run Club today. She asked me how I knew. I explained the source of my information, and shared with her what happened in the gentlest way possible.
Then she told me something more-
"I was with him, Mom. I was there when he started to cough. Other kids thought he was faking, but then one of my friends ran and got the coach while I stayed with him."
She didn't know what happened after that, which I'll credit the coaches for.
He was in her class this year. He was in her class last year. My heart aches for his parents- for his little brother. Their shock must be 10,000 x the shock that we felt.
"I didn't think that kids could die like that," she said.
"Kids shouldn't die like that." I said.
Suddenly not understanding why she didn't finish her math homework afterwards seems enormously petty (she hadn't said a word). They will have folks in her classroom to talk to her on Monday. I'm glad of that.
If anyone has suggestions for dealing with a young death for kids, I'd appreciate hearing about it.
Hug your children-
posted by Dawn at
8:51 PM
6 Comments:
Wow.... the one thing I can recommend is just to be there for her. I would ask questions to make sure she isn't keeping her thoughts from you on the subject. Kids try to protect their parents and themselves from the subject. ((HUGS)) to all of you...how terribly sad. Harley had to deal with a neighbor's baby dying--and the baby being brought to our house afterwards. Kids are much more resilient than we are...and far more than we give them credit for. E-me if you want to know more about how we dealt with Harley.
Oh my goodness. I am so, so sorry to hear this sad, sad news. :( Do they know what happened, exactly? I cannot imagine...
I have no experience or advice in dealing with anything like this. I would just say to be there for her, talk honestly, and reassure her that this will not happen again -- to her or to anyone she knows. (Of course, this would not be entirely honest, as we know it could and does happen at random, but statistically...it won't happen again and hearing it "won't" happen again might calm any buried fears she might now have.)
I'm so sad for all of you. :(
Oh wow. This seems so shocking. Such a young boy. Do they know what happened? So, so scary!
I agree with A & J, talk to her gently about it, let her know you are there if she wants to talk, but don't push to much if she doesn't want to talk about it.
I agree with you, I just could not imagine losing a child, at any age, but one so young has to be tough. Lots of HUGS to you guys, your girl of course..extra hugs for her!
Thanks for your kind advice. She's doing pretty well. More came out in recent days that he'd had a some other medical issues before that, which helped take some of the 'no warning' concern out of it. Not that this really helps the situation, but it makes it easier for her to wrap her head around it.
You are all very sweet!
(((hugs))) friend, i am sorry i didn't see this til now. i hope you are all doing ok - i can only imagine how e is feeling and her entire class...
keep us posted.
Update-
Still amazing that it could happen, but she seems to be getting through it ok. Her teachers all handled things very well from her end of the conversation.
The Run Club had a special end of season run & everyone wore ribbons in memory of her friend. Again, thanks for your kind words.
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